OOC TKC
by C00K13 QU33N
Summary: Take Anubis, Horus, Julius, and an evil bunny. Now add Anubis having pictures of Sadie, Horus being a freak, and Julius acting like an idiot. Now ya got OOC TKC.
1. Julius's Hot Ride

**Okay, just a reminder that this is SUPPOSED to be OOC (hence the title…duh) so if you don't like OOC then don't read it. Anywhoo, it's Sunday (happy belated birthday Abe!) and I got bored soooo TA DA! OOC TKC was born! Enjoy ^^**

"OWNED!" Anubis yelled, hopping up and down.

"Keep your britches on, dog boy." Horus retaliated.

The boys were enjoying their Saturday, playing Wii Sports and Anubis was on his 385th streak of winning, kicking Horus's feathery butt.

"Another cream soda, arch enemy?" Horus asked, clinking two sodas together.

Anubis eyed the bottles wearily, "Ah, no thanks."

Horus opened his mouth, probably to curse about his foiled attempt of murder by poison, but the sound of a terrible driver interrupted him.

Now who could that be?

"Abraham Lincoln?" Anubis guessed.

…It's a good thing you're sexy.

"Uhh…so that's a no?"

It's Julius.

"Oh! Yay!"

*Face palm* Where was I? Oh, bad driver, got it.

Julius crashed through the window and skidded to a stop at Horus's feet, "Hey boys! Wanna cruise around town in my new hot ride?"

His "hot ride" was a beat up bug.

"Ummm, I think we'll take Anubis's Ferrari…" Horus said.

Julius laughed, "Pfft, you don't wanna be seen in that piece of crap with with wheels. Haven't you heard?" He whipped out a magazine with a title that said: BUG NEW FERRARI. That was completely nuts, and it was incorrect grammar too.

The magazine showed a happy(ish) looking stick figure watching two work men-type things replacing a lumpy Ferrari with a misshapen bug.

Anubis snatched up the magazine and ripped it to shreds with his pointy teeth, "This. Is. A. Lie." He ripped another piece off with each word.

Anubis is very protective of his car.

"We have to ah, 'talk' to whoever made this horrid magazine." Horus growled.

Horus likes Anubis's car, it "attracts the ladies".

The bottom of the magazine has the company who made it.

"Uh, thanks random booming voice."

Anytime.

"Umm…so, OFF TO THE-," Anubis peered at the shredded magazine, "Off to the Bad Magazine work office!"

**Soooo how was it? Love it? Hate it? Lemme know peoples! Press the pretty shiny button down below and review! Ya know I love em! ****If I get the right kinda feedback, I'll continue it! **


	2. Professor Fufflekinz

A peeved Anubis, a hungry Horus, and a giddy Julius all headed for the Bad Magazine work office in Anubis's super cool Ferrari.

"Gimmie food!" Horus whined, rubbing his very large belly.

Proud owners of ugly bugs had been chucking tomatoes at the Ferrari.

Luckily, Horus likes tomatoes.

Anubis was still peeved, Horus was now singing The Wheels On the Bus, and Julius had to pee.

"Pleeeeease! Just stop at some trees or something!" Julius begged.

Anubis was fuming, "NO! YOU CAN FREAKIN HOLD IT!" This outburst was followed with an awkward silence.

… "Let's play I-Spy!" Horus squealed.

"What are you, two years old?"

Ignoring the rude remark, Horus continued, "I spy with my godly eye… somethiiiing GREEN!"

Julius tapped his chin, doing more thinking than he's ever done in his life, "Is it your pimple?"  
Horus laughed, "Nope! It changed colors again! It's yellow and filled with pus now! Take a look!"

Anubis swerved to the side of the road to blow chunks.

5 MINUTES LATER

"Gee, Anubis, I never knew that you had so much barf in you!"

With a final shiver, Anubis climbed back into his car, "Everyone back in."

Anubis, you ok?

"No."

Do you want me to get you out and into a nice story with Sadie in it?  
"YESSS!"

Well, too bad. This is my story.

"You guys never guessed what was greeeeen!" Horus said in a sing-song voice.

Julius pondered this again, "Is it your-,"

"FOR THE LOVE IT'S THE TREES!" Anubis yelled. He then flung himself out of the car and started running.

It took the other two about five minutes to capture Anubis and chuck him back into the car. Then it took seven steaks and a picture of Sadie naked (where did Julius even get that?) to get him to drive. I bet only the picture would've gotten him to drive.

"Look! A birdie! Oh, look! There's another one! Hee hee, they fly funny!" Anubis giggled. His eyes suddenly widened and he swerved the car to the side of the road, giving Horus a five second heart attack, "OMIFREAKINGOSHITSABUNNY!" He crouched down, "Hello little fella, wanna ride with us?"

"I think he's lost it." Julius muttered out of the side of his mouth.

Anubis whipped around, "Good news everybody! Professor Fufflekinz is coming with us!"

Horus's eye twitched, "You named it?"

"Yay! We get to ride with Professor Fluffykinz!" Julius cheered.

"ITS PROFESSOR FUFFLEKINZ!" Anubis bellowed.

Professor Fufflekinz twitched his nose cutely and the foursome (yesh, Professor Fufflekinz counts) headed off to the work office once again.


	3. Llama Wisdom

**Okay, I know I'm updating late but I have an excuse! One of the websites my little brother gets on completely wiped out our computer for a whole week. So don't be too upset! **

**I know I only got a Zarter request (because SOME lazy people don't read the summary) but I'm going to add Sanubis in the near future. Oh, who else likes the bunny? Lemme know! ONTO THE STORY!**

"Ooopen up!" Om nom nom nom…" Anubis was feeding the bunny. What was he feeding the bunny? Oh, I dunno, whatever bunnies eat.

Horus wasn't enjoying having to drive while listening to Anubis make baby noises, "GET RID OF THE SQUIRREL!" he finally yelled.

Anubis gasped,"(a) HE"S A BUNNY! (b) I'd sooner die than get rid of the Professor!"

"That last bit can be arranged!" Horus threatened, raising a butter knife.

…."Dude, are you actually going to try and kill me with a butter knife?"

"Ha, heck no, but seriously get rid of the bunny."

Professor Fufflekinz didn't like that one bit. The cute little rabbit launched itself at Horus, a flurry of twitchy noses and white fur, "OMFG GET IT OFF, GET IT OFF!" he screamed.

Anubis was laughing his head off and Julius was attempting to lick his elbow, both completely unaware of the fact that their car was swirling in circles in the middle of the road.

This all continued for at least ten minutes until a helpful Mexican wearing a really big sombrero rode over to the car, riding a llama. He wrenched the Professor off of Horus and tossed it to Anubis. "It is eeevil!" he warned, pointing to the bunny, before riding off into the sunset (**That was just for the person who requested ^^**)

"I wonder what that was about," Julius said, having finally given up on his impossible dream of licking his elbow.

Anubis was still waving to the sunset, "BYE MR. LLAMA MAN!"

Horus was still rubbing his face and glaring the Professor down, "Stupid squirrel," he muttered, low enough so Anubis didn't hear him.

They drove without distractions until Anubis tapped Horus on the shoulder, "Psst! Hey, hey, hey Horus!" he whispered.

_Just keep drivin' Horus, just keep drivin'._

Anubis was poking harder now, voice rising to a talk, "Hey, Horus! Listen to me! C'mon, listen!"

_Just keep drivin' Horus, just keep drivin'._

Anubis was now hitting him, yelling at the top of his lungs, "HEY HORUS I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!"

"FOR THE LOVE, THAT DO YOU WANT?"

Anubis lowered his voice, "Professor Fufflekinz needs a potty break, could you pull over?"

Horus swerved to the side, jaw set, "Take the darned bunny to pee." He said clamly.

Anubis flashed a smile, "Thanks, bro."

You should've listened to the llama man.

"Who's there?" Anubis asked loudly, whipping around.

Just a random booming voice of no concern.

"Oh, what did you mean then?"

Oh, you'll find out soon enough…

"Tell me!"

Too bad, my story, SUCK IT!

Anubis looked down sadly.

*Sigh* Here, have a cybercookie.

"Yay!" :3

Anubis picked up the Professor and carried him to some grass. The bunny suddenly opened his mouth and spoke, "Come, Anubis. Be my slave. We can rule together. I will give you steaks and pictures of Sadie galore. Join me."

Anubis looked down, the pictures of Sadie were sounding pretty good, "I-I-I-I don't know what to do."

The Professor looked at him, eyes glowing red, "You have twenty-four hours to make your decision. Choose wisely." And with that, he returned to his normal, adorable self. Anubis picked him up wearily and took him to the car.

"Oy, what took so long, mate?" Julius asked.

"Ah, nothing. What's with the British accent?"

"Hey, if Sadie can do it, so can I"

"Oh, 'kay."

And off they went, YET AGAIN!

**Oh, look a plots actually forming! Ideas and cybercookies would be nice ^^ **


	4. Ice Cream

**Okay, last chapter. Yeah, I know, sad. I'M SORRY STOP YELLING AT ME! Anywhoo, It's because I've sorta ran out of ideas… plus I've got another story idea ^^ the idea will probably last a lot longer than this; this was just the result of my boredom :/ So, enjoy the final chapter!**

The exited foursome was nearing their destination.

Or so they thought.

"Honestly, I don't even remember where we were headed in the first place; this is all too much comprehension and other things that require smarticles. I say we bail and go get some ice cream." Anubis suggested.

Hmmm, I can cope with that… Okay.

"Yes! Oh, and you've been so helpful along the way, have you even got a name?"

Well, you can call me Sanubis.

"What's 'Sanubis' mean?"

Ah, nothing.

They drove to the nearest ice cream shop and entered, "ICE CREEEEEEEAM!" Horus squealed like a little girl. He pushed his way to the front of the line, "Do you have any," he never got to finish his order.

At that moment, the Professor went nuts. He quadrupled in size… five times! The result: a killer rabbit about 300 feet tall.

"Anubis," he boomed, "have you made your decision?"

Horus and Julius looked from Anubis to the ravenous rabbit, then back to Anubis. Julius tilted his head the way Anubis did, "What's he talking about and why did he grow 300 feet tall?" he demanded.

Anubis looked down and seemed very interested in his boots, "I wonder how it would look if I put chains around my boots."

"Tell me now or else no more Sadie pictures!"

"No, not the pictures! Okay…" and Anubis told Julius and Horus everything that had happened.

Horus was smiling triumphantly, "I told you to get rid of the squirrel, did I no- oh, of course I did, I'm so freakin' smart!"

The Professor cleared his throat, "Eh-hem, I'm sorta in the middle of a furious rampage, at least act scared."

"But you're too fluffy to be scary!"

"I'M OVER 300 FEET TALL!"

"That just makes you 300 feet of fluff :3"

He didn't like that comment.

With the force of a million bricks, Professor Fufflekinz attacked Anubis, sending the god flying. The force of the blow knocked him out cold and also destroyed the left side of the shop.

Horus shrieked like a little girl, "SADIE, SADIE, SADIE, ANUBIS IS HURT HELP HELP!"

Sadie came quickly by sand portal, "Anubis is hurt?" she asked worriedly, pocketing a picture of Anubis.

"Not you too." Julius muttered.

"Hey! These pictures are for….educational purposes!" she snapped.

"How is Anubis's butt educational?"

"DON'T QUESTION MY LEARNING!" she yelled, "Oooh, ice cream!" then she sat down and started licking an ice cream cone.

Soon enough, Horus and Julius had joined her. So two gods and a godling were sitting there, eatin' ice cream, while a 300 foot tall bunny rabbit terrorized the shop, "This is really excellent ice cream," Sadie said through a mouthful, "What kind you got?"

"Vanilla."

"Gah, Dad, you're so boring."

"Anubis always gets vanilla."

"OMIGOD I JUST ADORE VANILLA!"

"Bi polar teen…"

While they were rambling on, Anubis regained consciousness. He took one look at Sadie and quickly pocketed a picture of her, "Okay, Sadie's here and you're all eating ice cream…WHY DIDN'T I GET ANY?"

"No reason," Sadie explained, "just blame the psycho bunny that's trying to eat us all, now go back to sleep so I can watc- erm…I mean, make sure that you don't get hurt!"

Anubis was suddenly aware of a looming shadow behind him, "Oh, look, you're awake! Your little girlfriend is being a nuisance…I'll take care of that." The Professor said, hitting Sadie in the back of the head with a frying pan.

Rather than helping her, Anubis was arguing, "She is NOT my girlfriend!" he insisted. The bunny psh-ed and rolled his eyes, "She's not! Really!" his face was really red.

"Sanubis! A little help?"

Nah, you two would make such a cute couple, really. :3

Anubis sighed, "Just let one of us kill the squirrel already."  
"AHA! That's also what I said!" Horus yelled.

Fine.

Anubis gathered Sadie in his arms and ran towards the exit until he saw the flames along the door, "OMIGOD ITS ON FIRE, HALP HALP!"

Sade had woken up and was quite pleased to find herself in Anubis's arms, "Anubis? You're a god. Use your magical powers or something."

"Oh, yeah." He concentrated on the door, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can…"

"THIS ISN'T THE LITTLE TRAIN THAT COULD! PUT OUT THE FIRE ALREADY!" Sadie yelled.

"STOP YELLING AT ME!"

"I'LL YELL AT YOU WHEN I WANT TO!"

Horus whispered to Julius, "I thought you had to be married to suffer this kind of abuse."

Sadie was now slamming Anubis's head into the flaming door, "Now. Put. Out. Those. Flames."

"Okay, okay!" and he put them out with his shirt.

To do that he had to take his shirt off.

Sadie liked that very much.

She whispered to the Professor, "Psst! Hey, make another fire so he has to take off his pants. Then another one so he has to take off his…"

"Sorry, girlie but show's almost over."  
"Whaddaya mean?"

"Sanubis said that this is the last chapter."

"Who's Sanubis?"

"The random booming voice. Say hi, Sanubis."

Hi, Sanubis.

The bunny face-palmed himself with enough force to kill himself. An accidental death.

They all stood there for a moment in stunned silence.

"So," Anubis began, "if anyone asks, I slayed it heroically."

Horus frowned, "No, I did, if anyone asks."

"But you always get the credit, what about me?"

"NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOU!"

"STOP YELLING AT ME!"

Sadie whispered to Julius, "I thought you had to be married to suffer this kind of abuse."

**Soooo what'd you guys think? Good? Bad? I WANNA KNOW! Big big thanks to all of the people that took the time to read, It's sloppy so hate if you gotta. EXTRA big thanks to those who alerted or faved, I just love you guys ^^ the next story (I've already started it) is gonna be called…..TKC Discovers Fan Fiction! That one'll have a lot more Sanubis and possible Zarter. Oh, and I know that there wasn't a lot of Sanubis IM NOT GOOD AT ROMANCE! Anywhoo, that's all I got to say. R&R kayz?**


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